A very irate reader wrote to me a while ago challenging me to, “for once!” write something good about men.”How hard can that be?” I thought to myself when I decided to take up the challenge.
“This would be a good opportunity for me to prove that I am not a ‘hater’ and that ‘bashing’ men is nothing personal – just literature.”
So I wrote back to the very furious reader and promised that my next piece would be about men and it would be nice.When five months later I hadn’t come up with something nice to say, I began to get very worried. The truth is; writing about love – and especially the lack of it – in relationships today is easy; the evidence is always readily available.
All you have to do is think about the maniacs that you or your girlfriends have bumped into in your search for Mr Right and you will be banging away angrily on your keyboard in no time, giving men the world over, a piece of your mind.
It has also been proven by all and sundry that bitterness and anger at our male counterparts, because of the things they do or fail to do, always make for much better reading. Plus, punching their egos and heckling, “women don’t need men!” is so much easier and sometimes even fun – the main reason why writing an appreciative piece for our dear brothers was proving to be such an ordeal.
“I could write about the roses he sent me on my birthday or the little sweet surprises; like the chocolate he sent to my office even after we had just had breakfast together…”
I thought to myself on the many occasions that I found myself staring blankly at my PC.”…but telling the whole world about roses and chocolate and my heaven sent boyfriend would be bragging,” I quickly concluded and in this way, dismissed every thought that came to mind.
That is when I realised that our modesty as sisters is utterly misleading. The thing is; we comfortably talk about how bad our relationships – or those of our friends – are.
We make our problems everybody’s business, and their problems become our business. But when it comes to the beautiful things in our relationships or marriages, it suddenly becomes immodest to share.
Rarely do we ever see a piece in the magazines about how beautiful marriage is. Rarely do we get to read the details about how a sister was spoilt on Valentines’ day. Rarely do the books we read tell us how good it feels to be happily married.
How comforting it feels to wake up next to the man of your dreams and to share your life with him. But the moment a brother forgets a birthday or ogles at a strange lady, wenever hear the end of it.
So we live in perpetual fear of the nuptials or any commitment because the world around us acts as a constant reminder of how marriage is; “just a couple of honeymoon years before all hell breaks loose”. And we have no choice but to believe this portion of our population because that is how the majority view marriage.